About

Created by three friends who also happen to be moms, Mommy Dearest Inc. is a humorous parenting blog whose goal is to keep you laughing as you fumble through the day with your kids. So, pour yourself a glass, sit back, ignore your screaming children and enjoy…

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Kelly

Kelly grew up in the Dirty South, so she will definitely cut a bitch if things get out of hand, but much prefers to drink wine with her friends instead. There are currently four penises in her family (husband, two sons and a dog) to her one vagina, so her girlfriends are very important to her sanity. So is SoulCycle. Monday at Noon is EVERYTHING. When not boozing, spinning or juggling the many balls in her house (see what she did there), Kelly also produces Reality TV. When writing, she tends to overuse exclamation points, dashes and parentheses (see above). If you have a problem with that – please re-read the first line!!!

Kelly wrote this in the third person and hates herself for it. She also had a mad, mad crush on Christian Slater for a good 15 years and would very much like to meet him in person before she dies. This is her way of testing out The Secret – let’s see if it works! Kelly can be found most nights standing in front of her fridge eating squares of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate hazelnut bars and wondering why she still has 15 (okay 20)* pounds to lose.

*Kelly now only has 10 pounds to lose but reserves the right to re-gain weight when necessary.

Theresa

Growing up in Upstate New York, (the real Upstate, not Westchester) I spent much of my childhood singing the soundtrack to “Annie” whilst dreaming of running away to Hollywood. Nowadays, I spend much of my time drinking wine with my lady friends at play dates and scrubbing permanent marker off of body parts. When I am not consumed with these activities, you can usually find me negotiating with my five year old or taking pics with my iPhone. Formerly, I was a number-hating number cruncher, a marketing gal, and a buyer of clothing and rugs. All of which led me to actually running away to Hollywood, where I am still an actor and storyteller.

I wish I was as obsessed with SoulCycle as my cohorts, but the 4 day searing migraine accompanied by night sweats and a general feeling of malaise (plus the freight train-like breathing, beet red face, the inability to focus on anything other than the heat or worry that I may be on the verge of an aneurysm) outweighs the chance to pedal behind a celebrity. So, instead, I am on a quest to find a workout that involves less humiliation and anxiety and more dignity. Oh, and btw, I hate sand, know-it-alls, and whining. 

I am Theresa and I currently reside in Los Angeles with my surfer-dude husband and my sweet girl.

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Susan

Susan is a freelance writer and freelance mother of one who loves wine and an extravagant lifestyle. When she isn’t trying to shed her extra chub at SoulCycle you can find her frolicking around town with her hilarious four year old. She hates all of her clothes and can’t seem to learn Italian. She married an Italian and was hoping to learn the language through osmosis but so far nothing, even though she’s trying really hard to just absorb it, it’s not working. She believes in the sisterhood of the traveling pants, unicorns and tiger-mermaids. She has to because if she didn’t, the tiny overlord living in her house would make it her job to recondition her like one of those Christian camps where they brainwash you into saying you are no longer gay. Susan now resides on the Westside of Los Angeles and feels like a “have not” on a daily basis. She tries to be thankful for her blessings but her uncontrollable need for an extravagant lifestyle stomps on those feelings of being blessed and replaces them with “I want”. Susan has a lot of work to do both inside and out and while she’s thinking about that, she’s probably talking about drinking wine and praising her superior parenting skills. Her work has been featured on Scary Mommy and Sammiches and Psych Meds.

Changing the Way You Drink About Motherhood

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