Tag Archives: #kids

This Is What Happens When You Lose Your Libido

In a different life, or perhaps it was mine but it was just so long ago that it doesn’t quite seem real, I was sexy and cool. I used to play the guitar for 3-4 hours each day, I was accepted into a top acting school in NYC, I would draw and write. I volunteered to walk shelter dogs and sew baby clothes. I read a zillion books, had lots of friends, was always up for an adventure. I was interesting, funny.
 
Now? What am I? Who am I? How did I get so lost? Let me explain. Ten years ago I got married. Six years ago I had a baby. I have heard legends about these magical, unicorn women out there who are able to maintain that sexy vibe all throughout those first years of being a mom. Well played in your sexy nursing bras and knickers! I applaud you, you sexy bitches. However, that ship sailed without me. My main focus when purchasing nursing bras was raw nipples, not making sure I looked hot in them. So with that in mind, my post-baby bras looked something like hideous, beige, padded, uniboob-creating nightmares. The sexiest I managed to get during that time was roaming the house looking for my phone with my tits hanging out through the nursing flaps. That was just the beginning of the decline. In the past six years, I became the lowest person on the totem pole. I forgot all about me. I forgot about all of the things I used to do and I forgot all about taking care of myself. What I had become was “Mom”. Period. End of story.

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Things My Mother Never Told Me About Motherhood

Mother’s Day is rounding the bend and I find myself reflecting upon not only my job as a mother but how my own mom has influenced my parenting. For those of us with a pulse, we can all agree motherhood wasn’t exactly what we had expected. For me, my bundle of joy came with a generous side of anxiety and fear, which was nice. Then truly experiencing things like sleep deprivation and a shift in your relationship with your spouse, also throw a nice fireball into the mix. All of this new love and new fear is just the beginning.

I’m not sure if it’s because my mother had six children, but I never really felt this anxiety from her that myself and other moms talk about these days. I imagine having six kids is like herding cats. It was chaotic to say the least but even in the chaos, she did not flip her shit like I do with my one and only. How? Maybe with six kids you learn a new level of disassociation. I’m not sure. I can’t ask her because she’s dead. Continue reading

My Kid’s a Thief. Now What the Hell Do I Do?

The funny thing about parenting (and running a funny parenting blog) is that you never really know what’s going to come next. You may think you have it under control, that you’re navigating the choppy waters successfully, avoiding all the circling sharks, but the next thing you know, bam! You cut your toe open on a jagged lego piece and the sharks move in the for the kill.

That’s a bit dramatic I’ll admit, but it’s exactly how I felt the day I found out my five-year-old son was a thief. Continue reading

Social Media Can Be A Tricky Thing

image via shutterstock

Social Media can be a tricky thing. It can make you laugh, it can make you cry and it can make you viciously angry. Chatting with my women-folk about the ups and downs of social media, we all agreed that the worst feeling social media brewed inside of us was the feeling of being inferior. Life isn’t perfect but some have the gift of portraying it that way. I am not one of those people. Here’s some insight to how to look past the perfection and be ok with the messy.

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA PORTRAYS LIFE

You’ve all seen it. The picture of the incredibly decorated cakes, sitting atop a counter that has absolutely no clutter whatsoever. The counter itself looks like it costs more than my entire kitchen (and probably does). The children are donning the latest fashion trends from the boutique you’ve never even entered because you can’t afford it. Their hair is coiffed in a fashion that looks professional. Everyone looks happy and in love. Continue reading

Raising a Free Range Child in 2016

Please don't jump, please don't jump!
Please don’t jump, please don’t jump!

Parenting these days is tough and there’s no denying that all of the information out there can be confusing and contradictory. Since there has been so much helicoptering in recent years and not enough Xanax to go around, experts and non-the-like are coming out with articles, posts and books about letting our children have more freedom. Our kids, like our eggs, have to be “Free Range”.  There’s only one problem, sometimes when people try and put to practice this exciting, “Free-Range Parenting” or what our parents used to call “Parenting”, they end up in the slammer. Continue reading

The 2016 Trump Games

This is not a political post. I want to start there. There are hundreds, likely thousands, of people more qualified to write about the world of politics as it pertains to Donald Trump than I am. People whose job it is to analyze his every word and anticipate his every move. I am not one of those people.  But, like millions of other Americans, I am utterly fascinated by the man.  Similar to the way I am fascinated by the fact that people religiously watch a woman pop zits on YouTube or that everyday on my “news” feed there’s a story about Kendall Jenner. But fascinated nonetheless. Which leads me to this post.

The million dollar question on everyone’s minds right now is, of course, what will Trump actually do if he wins the White House? My best guess is that no one really knows at this point, not even Trump. So instead of focusing on Foreign Policy or Women’s Rights, instead of worrying about what impact he will make on the major issues facing our Country, or how Melania Trump will re-decorate the Oval Office,  I’m sticking with what I know. And what I know is, kids. Continue reading