Tag Archives: momblog

Loud Kids and the Moms Who Hide from Them

Actual photo of my child whispering.

I don’t have any answers.

Usually, when I sit down to write one of these posts it’s because I feel like I have something useful to share, or that I’ve worked through whatever parenting issue I’m addressing and can (at least attempt to) pass along some insight. Whether it be as serious as postpartum depression, or as silly as spending too much money at Starbucks, I generally don’t like to inundate you with my woes about something unless I’m somewhat on the other side of said something, and can maybe help you get there as well. 

Not this time though. This time I am smack dab in the middle of it, and because I have spent so much money at Starbucks recently (see above) and can no longer afford my fancy shrink, you people are going on the journey with me. Welcome. Mind if I lie on your couch for a while?

Ok, here goes. The noise in my house is killing me. Not literally, no, but figuratively AF.

Let me back up. When I was about five-years-old, I remember yelling into my dad’s ear about something while we were playing. He, always fancying himself a comedian, then secretly went into our kitchen, pulled out the ketchup and created a stream of bright red “blood” tracing from his ear down his neck. “You made my ears bleed!” He bellowed. I’m sure my fancy shrink would have lots of thoughts about how this impacted my young mind when it comes to men and trust issues, but since he’s not here, we’ll go with what I know. And what I know is (a) that was a shitty thing to do to a small child and (b) I totally get it now. Kids are fucking loud.

I have two sons. One is on the verge of turning three and the other is about to turn seven. To say they are “loud” would be like saying Ernest Hemingway had “a tiny bit of a drinking problem.” The noise that these two humans create from the moment they wake up in the morning until the moment they finally pass out at night is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, and I lived in NYC for a very long time.

Don’t be fooled by their cuteness.

To be clear, I am not just talking about all the yelling they do when they’re fighting with each other. It’s also the shrieking to high heaven like Oprah just gave them a car when they’re excited, and wailing like Brad Pitt when he finds out what’s in the box when they’re sad. They’re loud when they’re bored, and they’re loud when they’re playing. They’re loud when they don’t get what they want, and they’re loud when they do. It’s just constant. The noise is constant. And I am not handling it well. In fact, I am not really handling it at all. I’m just trying to keep my head above water in a sea of piercing sounds.

Now please, fight the urge to tell me that I will miss this one day. That I, huddled in the corner clenching my sons’ stuffed animals after they leave for college, will look back and wish for them to be wrestling naked on my living room floor squealing with delight as they bash each other into every piece of furniture we own because, as my oldest son explains it, “we show our love through fighting each other.” Do not tell me that I will miss this.

In fact, don’t tell me anything at all. The last thing I need is one more person yammering in my ear.

I think what I really need from you right now, what most moms probably need from you right now, is for you to know that there are few things more valuable to us than the sound of silence. Even if it’s just for a moment. Because let’s face it, most of the time a moment is probably all we’re going to get. 

A moment to catch our breath.

A moment to think about how to navigate the next challenge, settle the next fight, soothe the next tantrum.

A moment to stare off into space, or look at our phones and silently judge strangers on the internet.  Or, I don’t know, maybe even just a moment to pee without the overlords banging on the door the whole damn time.

So like I said, I don’t have any answers on this one, and I’m not necessarily looking for them either. I just needed to tell you that my kids are extremely loud. And I really wish they weren’t.

Thanks for listening. Your couch is really comfy. 

The Dirty Truth About the Holiday Season

PURELL® Multi Surface Spray (our new best friend)

The holidays are finally upon us and we here at Mommy Dearest Inc. couldn’t be more excited. Well, perhaps if our holiday included an all-expenses-paid vacation to Fiji, but we don’t think any amount of Santa lap-sitting is gonna make that happen!

Instead, we’re focusing on what we do have: friends, family and just a touch of Botox from time to time. Blessed. But as we all know, the holidays can be filled with their fair share of stresses as well. Some of them we can’t control, like the seemingly never-ending winter break from school, but some of them we can. And that’s thanks to our new best friend, PURELL® Multi-Surface Disinfectant Spray. We’ve partnered with GOJO, the makers of this brand-new product, to tell you about how we’ll be using it during the holiday season!

Theresa’s Story –

The holidays are the perfect time for family and friends to gather at your home to eat, drink (maybe a bit too much) and be merry. There are so many great traditions during this time of year and like many of you, one of ours is preparing a meal together. Each year, we spend the day eating while we cook so that nobody is even remotely hungry when the turkey finally hits the table six hours later. However, there is one part of these holiday feasts that I can’t get down with, and that is the poor turkey.

From the moment that large, whole, raw bird enters my fridge until it is fully cooked, I worry about how to protect us all from food poisoning! My husband is the official turkey cooker so while he is slathering the bird with herbs and butter, I am a one-woman army scrubbing away raw bird from my fridge, countertops, and kitchen sink – all the while praying our guests won’t be treated to a bleach-flavored meal.

Killing germs and bacteria. Like a boss.

When I heard that the PURELL® brand was introducing a multi-surface disinfecting spray that is approved for use on food prep surfaces, kitchen appliances and is worry-free around kids, pets, and food – I couldn’t wait to give it a try. My family has been using PURELL® Hand Sanitizer for years to rid our hands of germs while on-the-go, so it’s a brand that we know and trust.

This spray kills 99.99% of bacteria and germs in 30 seconds so that raw turkey juice doesn’t stand a chance!  And, since this product has an alcohol-based formula, it kills germs like bleach but doesn’t have those harsh and irritating fumes. Being someone with very high sensitivity to smells, I can honestly say that the scent is light and not at all bothersome.

Needless to say, PURELL® Multi Surface Spray will definitely become part of our holiday traditions as well as our cleanups around the kitchen and the rest of the house, year round. Keeping my family and home germ-free will be so much easier with this product on hand. I can even use it on all of those mangy, over-loved stuffed animals that my daughter loves so much – but that is another story altogether. Get your clean on this holiday season with PURELL® Multi Surface Spray!

Kelly’s Story – 

For me, the holiday season is filled with wonderful memories. Lazy mornings by the fireplace, listening to Christmas songs for a solid month and never getting sick of them, and of course, extra time with friends and family. But there’s one thing that comes with the holiday season that I absolutely dread. Illness. Before I had kids, I never realized the full extent of misery that comes with cold and flu season. Cut to last winter. I will spare you all the gory details, mainly because I gag just thinking about them, but let’s just say there was a moment while my husband and my two-year-old were barfing in unison when I considered just jetting off and calling it a day.

Alas, we made it through. But as the cold and flu season rears its ugly head this year, I can feel my anxiety rise to the surface once more. Enter this brand new product, PURELL® Multi Surface Disinfectant. 

I first learned that this product was coming onto the market several months ago, and I’m not exaggerating when I say I was stoked. I have PURELL® Hand Sanitizer in every diaper bag, purse and pocket of my car. So to think that I could have a surface disinfecting spray to use in my home definitely piqued my interest.

But, as an environmentally conscious Westside Los Angeles mom, I also hesitated to dive headfirst into the spray (metaphorically speaking of course) because I worried about harsh chemicals and odors. We’ve used an eco-friendly multipurpose spray for years and while I love that it doesn’t smell like a chemical factory, I can’t say with certainty that it’s actually disinfecting anything. 

With the PURELL® Multi Surface Spray, however, I feel like I’m getting the best of both worlds. It disinfects and cleans, and its alcohol-based formula kills germs like bleach without harsh chemicals and irritating fumes.  And, since it’s a no-rinse formula, you don’t have to worry about wiping down surfaces with water after you use it. Though I can’t guarantee your children won’t spray or dump water everywhere 30 seconds after you disinfect and clean, as mine typically do. 

I love his little hands and feet. Just not on my dining table!

So, as my two little tyrants, I mean angels, spread their germs all over our counters, tables and pretty much every other surface in our home, I’m taking comfort this cold and flu season knowing that I’m doing everything I can to kill those pesky germs with the help of PURELL® Multi Surface Disinfecting Spray. If you love PURELL® products as much as we do, you’re definitely going to want to check this product out at amazon.comwalmart.com, and jet.com

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a germ-free night! 

Saving Money and Starbucks: A Parent’s Struggle

kissing starbucks cup
I don’t always match my straw…

If you’re anything like me, saving money is something that you think about doing a lot more often than you actually do it. Thanks, Target! I have recently realized however, that my kids’ toy cars are nicer than my actual car. So I decided it was time to really buckle down in order to buckle in to an upgraded vehicle. For this, I turned to the experts. Seemingly every financial Tom, Dick and Suze I read had the same advice: give up expensive coffee drinks if I want to get ahead on saving money. In theory, this seems reasonable. Buying these drinks isn’t a necessity, especially when I have a perfectly good coffee maker at home. How hard could it be?

But then I tried to do it. I failed miserably.

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The Dirty Truth About Running A Mom Blog

Hello Dearests!

We are so tickled that we have made it one year, making you laugh and/or roll your eyes in disgust here at Mommy Dearest Inc. Wow, what a year! We started this venture so unaware of what launching and running a blog entailed. The old saying, “The blind leading the blind” really rings true when observing us trying to figure out Word Press. The night before the launch, Theresa and Susan tried to code something and the entire site shit the bed. Thank God for Dennis (our Web Guy), who had that baby up and running – $125 later. And then, on the morn of October 20, 2015 we launched MDI and the followers just started pouuuurrriiing in. It was like an overnight success amongst our moms, aunts, sisters, cousins and a handful of friends. What a shock to learn that launching a blog was not the only thing you have to do for it to be successful. Who knew? Continue reading