Tag Archives: #sanctimonious

Saving the World – One Green Bean at a Time

Hello Dearests!

Sanctimama here to bestow upon you a pearl of wisdom that will enrich your life, save our planet, and give you hope that you can make a difference. As the environmentally conscious mama that you are, I am sure you have asked yourself if it’s worth making your own baby food. I am here to say, of course it is. I have read all of the reviews on Williams Sonoma about their baby food making machines and have come to the conclusion that if you care, even one iota about your child’s health and the world at large, then you will understand the benefits of this gift that you will be giving them, the gift of life. By making their meals by hand, you are showing how invested you are in an eternity of success for your little one, life-long eating habits and equally as important, not endorsing these big corporate monsters who are jamming their steroid-infused, alien monster “foods” down the throats of our sweet and innocent babies. Have you seen these four year olds with double d’s? I cannot support the child brassiere industry.

First, did you know that jarred baby food could sit on the shelves for decades before it expires? DECADES! Dearests, you may as well spoon-feed your child Alpo if you are going to allow those genetically enhanced pureed green beans to enter into their pristine systems. I can’t even walk down the baby food aisle without having a breakdown for the little ones being forced to eat this poison. I take one look at those little “beef sticks” marinating in a brine of salty, pesticide juice and it sends chills down my spine and fills my heart with a profound sadness. Secondly, the manufacturing of these jars and pouches of food is killing our mother earth as quickly as Raid kills a cockroach. Do you want your little one ingesting RAID? I didn’t think so.

The best and only advice I can give you is to grow your own organic produce for your baby food. Trusting a store that says something is “organic” is putting your health in jeopardy. Never assume something is organic, even if the label it says it is. The only way to know for sure is to grow it yourself. Also, foraging is an excellent way to get those beautiful, rare items that can’t always be found at your local organic co-op. Don’t get hung up on the amount of time these foraging trips may take – try to think of them as magical adventures into nature with your children and if that doesn’t work, try remembering that this will be the perfect opportunity to wear those Hunter boots and to use that hand woven basket you bought in Micronesia while you were there saving the lives of the endangered Miniature Unicorn Beetle. When you say that you don’t have time for foraging it is really just another way of saying that you don’t love your child. Bringing your child into nature to find these incredible foods will bring you closer together – allow nature to be your classroom. I can assure you, once you get into the swing of the growing, harvesting, and foraging, it becomes second nature and the hours just fly right by. Another benefit of foraging is that using unique and rare items will only broaden your little ones palate. We all want to have children who grow into eaters who can decipher a crimini mushroom from a porcini mushroom and not just know the difference between a Twinkie and a Ring Ding.

Let me tell you that I have felt nothing but bliss and an indescribable inner peace since embarking on this culinary adventure. My little one is taller than all of those little Gerber babies and I can assure you that she is also much smarter and can do more somersaults than those little runts could ever dream of doing. I owe all of this to my Organic Farrow and Winter Squash medley and to our family’s superior genetics. The hours I spend creating these delicacies are worth every second. My babe knows that her food is made with love and a food pouch says, “I just don’t give a fuck”.

So grab your hand-woven basket and your “Eclectic Guide to Foraging in Abundance”, written by yours truly and get up into your neighbors fruit trees and get picking.




For I am not Perfect


donut girl - featured image

Greetings Mommy Dearests,

Recently, I have been losing sleep over a certain issue and now I am going to stop obsessing over it and share it with my sisters, if for nothing else, absolution. The other day while I was walking to my Hot Yoga class, I came across a happy child, frolicking down the street alongside her mother. Everything seemed perfect, as things sometimes do from the outside but as I was passing her, I realized she was eating something I hadn’t seen in years…she was eating a donut.

There they were, just strolling down the ignorant path of life, mother and daughter, unbeknownst to them (I’m assuming because they might be poor or don’t read) that this little girl was ingesting pure poison. Now, I didn’t stop to ask them where they had bought the donut because initially I reflected upon the fact that we at our home, once or twice a year, do splurge on Fonuts. We are not North Koreans for God’s sake but this holed pastry looked too sugary to be a Fonut and as I said before, I think they might have been poor or not able to read so how would they even know where to purchase a Fonut? Here is where my moral dilemma begins; I did nothing to stop them. I watched in horror while this poor (literally and figuratively) little angel orally inhaled a giant, doughy, powdered-sugar piece of nuclear waste and I did nothing. How are they to ever know the long-term damage fried, GMO laden, refined sugar-treats can do to a person? I’ve spoken to hundreds, make that hundreds of thousands of people regarding childhood obesity and while this child was in no way obese and was actually skipping and eating (another child-danger I abhor), I am sure she was on her way home to a dinner of fried chicken with a side of something fried.

As I continued on my way to Hot Yoga, something began to burn deep inside my soul. My own selfish need for a good sesh with Raaj stopped me from fulfilling my responsibility as an educated woman to gently put myself between the duo and their destination to gift them the knowledge that I bequeath. For people pay me hundreds, make that millions of dollars every year to bestow my self-studied informational facts about nutrition upon their blank slates of a mind and I failed. I failed as a person, I failed as an educator but mostly, I failed as a mother. How can I call myself a sister to all women if I am not able to protect, scold even, their children? I should have scolded that child for her joyous innocence and I should have scolded that poor (literally and figuratively) mother for not knowing in 2015 that sugar will turn her neglected daughter into either a crack whore or just a plain old whore.

I apologize to you all today and solemnly vow that I will never ever again walk by a person, self-poisoning themselves with what we once used to call snacks or treats and not say a thing. You have my promise, sisters – you have my promise. I sign off continuing the fight for a world without sugar, a world without hunger and world without judgment for those who just don’t know.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be fulfilled “– Luke 6:20-23